Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous’ Category

Akon Auditioning For WWE

Well, this man obviously doesn’t like being embraced by the mainstream. First he got in trouble for dry-humping a 15-year-old preacher’s daughter on stage at a concert in April. Granted, it was an 18+ club that she sneaked into so he assumed she was legal. But this time, he’s body-press tossing what looks to be a skinny teenager off stage. Granted, the kid threw something at him during the performance, but he overreacted. Akon asked the audience to point out the perpetrator then had his security guards grab him. As the young’n was hauled to the stage, the singer removed his chain and shirt – and the ladies screamed and swooned – then went Brock Lesnar on the kid. A simple punch to the gut would’ve sufficed (in my book), but he picked him up and hurled him into the crowd. Expect a lawsuit to be filed by the punk and some of the people he might’ve landed on.

Stupid, stupid move. You don’t heave a whiteboy off stage at a concert and not suffer the repercussions. Different story if there’d been a mosh pit around. But there wasn’t. And Verizon, whom Akon had signed on to do VCast commercials for, can’t be too happy about this.

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Stray-Rod Could Do Better

By now I’m sure you’ve heard/read/watched/been told about Alex Rodriguez’s ostensible infidelity and his affinity for “jiggle joints.” He was spotted in Toronto last week after a game with a blonde woman not named Cynthia, and the New York Post aired him out…again. You know all that. And you probably already know that the supposed jumpoff, Joslyn Morse, is a 30-year-old stripper who appeared in Playboy’s Casting Calls in 2001. But you probably haven’t seen her nude pictures. And that’s what makes this post worth reading.

Pictures: 1, 2, 3 and 4 (provided by a poster, CMNYY, at The Yankee Zone)

* Be warned, they’re not safe for work. Teenage boys, be sure your mother isn’t in or near the room before clicking the links.

I’m sure you’ll agree that a man who makes $26 million/year and accurately described himself as “good-looking” (bright and bi-racial, too) could do better than that. Her boobs are fake and she’s kinda tough in the face. Not ugly, but I’ll call her handsome. And my guess is that she probably can’t make her booty clap while doing a handstand like Pacman’s strippers.

Morse might’ve been the skeezer that broke the camel’s back, too. After the picture was plastered on the front page of the fifth most popular newspaper in America, his wife packed a suitcase and booked a flight to Boston to be with her man. Who knows, she might start following the team and bringing the baby to games, Joumana Kidd style. So A-Rod’s groupie trysting has been 86’d, or at least put on hold. And she probably wasn’t worth it.

Tony P. Dropping a Rap Album

The self-titled album will have an R&B-infused hip hop sound, according to Playfuls.com. Parker is signed to a label called Music One, which was started last year.

Well, he’s got a couple scars on his face so that might help with street cred. I’m seeing a weird combination of Loon and Craig David, spliced with Pepe Le Pew’s skeevy charm.

I’m just hoping he raps about menage a trois and says “bitches and hoes” – in French or English – enough times on enough tracks to piss the NBA off.

Lemme know if I should make up a mock verse for one of his songs.

Tony Parker…Rapping

Another athlete who can’t rap or sing who’s attempting to rap or sing. I’m wondering if he’s got a record deal. He’s got two music videos out, including a collab with Fabolous.

It’s called “Top of the Game.” At least Fab’s verse was good.

This one – “Clip Balance Toi” – I guess is Tony’s attempt at Frenchèton. He’d gotten laughed at for his “rapping” at the Spurs championship parade (though not as funny as Juan Pierre’s), but he couldn’t leave bad enough alone.

It sounds like a Pitbull track, only in French, and more sucky. Now, he could be spitting the most profound words ever said in rhyme, but it sounds like it wouldn’t make sense, even if I knew French.

Btw – Credit goes to The Big Lead for spotting this first.

Hockey Fighting!

Todd Fedoruk don’t fight too good.

vs. Tim Gleason on 2-22-07, getting it T.J. Combo style.vs. Colton Orr on 3-21-07, getting his shit rocked! (as the kids say)

By the way, hockey fighting should be it’s own sport.

Whitlock’s At It Again

AOL Sports columnist Jason Whitlock, who got a lot of attention for his “Black KKK” article last week, is at it again, castigating hip-hop for its negative influence on knuckleheads and corrosion of black culture. It’s a well-written (although in the lead “fermenting” would’ve been a better choice than “fomenting”) piece and I agree with some of what he’s saying. There is a problem in the black community (and mentality), but I don’t blame it hip hop culture, which I think is somewhat a reflection of black society. I’ll probably need 1,000 words to get into that, and I will, at a later date. I’m gonna defend rap music, too. But for now, I’ll just get at what he wrote about jeans sagging.

Prison culture swallowed hip-hop culture, turning party music into a celebration of violence, hostility, disrespect and drug-dealing.

Our children think they’re participating in a culture that is meant to empower them. Hip hop — disguised in low-hanging platinum chains, 24-inch rims, platinum grills and other flossy material possessions — cripples black youth and infects them with a prison mindset that even NFL and NBA dollars can’t seem to shake.

Just like the Ebonics language, the tattoos and cornrows are straight from the prison playbook. So are the sagging pants, which started as a way for gay prisoners to signal their availability for action.

The rappers love to tell you they’re keeping it real, but they leave out so much to the hip hip/prison culture story. “Gangbanging” and being a “rider” is glorified. They don’t tell you that much of the violence played out on the streets is directly related to the love affairs that play out behind bars.

How does Whitlock know that hip-hoppers (that term sounds so corny) aren’t sagging their pants to signal that they’re anxious for some cock in the butt? Lil’ Wayne and Baby kiss each other on the lips all the time, and in public. Is it preposterous to infer that anyone who sags their pants is a homosexual? I know when I wore baggy pants way back (5-6 years ago), it’s because I was craving hot man love.

On a serious note: Whitlock is basically saying, “Ya’ll need to stop doing it because that shit is gay!” This, in a way, is an attempt to use hip-hop’s homophobia against itself. But isn’t that kind of homophobic?

Sling Blade’s Prank Call

Hey, there’s a misc. category for a reason.

I make it do what it do, baby

Credit goes to homegirl at Ladies Love Sports 2 for these pictures, but I felt I had to make a post about it.

Tracy McGrady is P.I.M.P.’d up but instead of the chalice, he’s holding a Vitamin Water. [Tangent: That stuff tastes awful. I bought one about five years ago, expecting it to taste something like Gatorade, and I’d swear it was watered-down urine. Then I bought another last year – Why? Because 50 Cent told me to, that’s why! – and I was reminded why I’d been saying it tastes like piss-water for the previous four years.] He’s the wholesome, healthy hoe hustler. Because, of course, they do it for the kids.

And doesn’t “T-Mac” sound like a good pimp name? At 6-foot-8, those would be some vicious backhand slaps, too. He’d be coming down and across with full torque. T-Mac could slap a hooker so hard it would blow his back out.

Is it just me or does McGrady’s wife’s complexion kinda match Stuart Scott’s left eye?

Forgive me for being mean, but which one is the lazy eye again? I think it’s the left one. It’s bad when you get an infection in the eye that doesn’t even work.

Tim Hardaway Apologizes

“As an African-American, I know all too well the negative thoughts and feelings hatred and bigotry cause,” Hardaway said Thursday in a statement issued by his agent. “I regret and apologize for the statements that I made that have certainly caused the same kinds of feelings and reactions. I especially apologize to my fans, friends and family in Miami and Chicago. I am committed to examining my feelings and will recognize, appreciate and respect the differences among people in our society,” he said. “I regret any embarrassment I have caused the league on the eve of one of their greatest annual events.”

That statement should offend more people than his initial comments. First off, those aren’t even his words. As I was reading, “As an African-American, I know all too well…” I was just waiting to see the words: “in a statement released by his publicist.” If you’ve listened to him, you know he doesn’t talk like that. Secondly, he doesn’t mean a word of that. He’s only sorry that he’s getting flak and the NBA took away his wowwipop.

You know what’s gonna piss me off about the situation? People are going to demand that he “seek help” and “make amends.” They might even want him to get counseling. There’s no help for this, and any offering of such would be a waste of time and effort.

Hardaway is a 40-year-old man – an ignorant one, but he knows enough about the world. He’s not some kid who’s got it in his head that anybody different from him has cooties. He knows that gays are human beings and a person’s sexual preference has no bearing on him. But he loathes them anyway because he detests that lifestyle and vehemently disapproves of it. That’s not going to change. He can bullshit his way through perfunctory apologies and release statements about how he’s been enlightened, reached an understanding and changed his outlook, but he’ll still harbor those feelings. Can somebody explain to me the value of a fake apology?

In the words of Jay-Z: “…you are what you are, player/ You can try to change, but that’s just the top layer”

I say that as long as he’s not out attacking homosexuals (like a crazed anti-gay vigilante) or making more offensive comments, it doesn’t matter what’s going on in his mind. He can hate all he wants and seethe about the existence of gays “in the world or in the United States.” If he keeps it to himself, I couldn’t care less.

Tell ya what, folks, I’m certain there are a lot of people who hate others (not limiting it to just homosexuals). You can’t change how they think, and unless they pose a real threat, it’s not worth it to even try to change them. Discrimination and/or persecution is what matters, and Tim Bug isn’t in a position to do that. So get him off TV and have the NBA distance itself from him, but end it there. You know what he’d be thinking during counseling? “Man, I can’t believe I’m in here. This is the gayest shit I ever done!”

And why is Tim Hardaway relevant? Until this stuff came up, I’d forgotten about him. After he retired and made a fool of himself nightly on ESPN (dude sounded so dumb, it was funny seeing him juxtaposed to Greg Anthony) then un-retired and then retired for good, I stopped caring. Honestly, I don’t think his name had even crossed my mind in 3 years.

Isaiah Washington & Tim Hardaway

Wouldn’t they make a cute couple?